passive Pastimes.
Passive pastimes.
Juggling: A load of ball’s.
Metal detecting: Find your own wages.
Coin collecting: Makes holes in your pocket.
Keep a dog: Annoy the neighbours.
Keep a cat: Annoy the birds.
Keep a budgie: Annoy the cat.
Keep bees: Annoy the neighbourhood.
Keep a goat: Saves having a lawnmower.
Keep a horse: Annoy the motorist, (who has to pay road tax and insurance). The heaps of horse dung on country roads, can help car’s to rust. (You will get a fine if your dog fouls, does this apply to horses?)
Photography: Are you photogenic?
Stamp collecting: You cannot lick this.
Woodworking: Plane hobby.
Woodcarving: Carve a niche for yourself.
Model-making: Models are born not made.
Craftwork: Are you crafty?
Crosswords: Might make you cross.
Jigsaw puzzles: Don’t lose patience or the last piece?
Sudoko. Sod it.
Board games: Might make you bored.
Computer games: Takes up too much time.
Birdwatching: Is watching birds your game?
Plane spotting: Not in Greece.
Train spotting: Don’t miss the bus.
Astronomy: Can you see the dark side?
Fishing: Could you take all day to drown a worm? Is your tackle long enough?
Gardening: Growing and pulling up weeds.
Ballroom dancing: Two people trying to step on each other’s toes.
Line dancing: Save’s stepping on toes.
Crown green bowling: Men and women rolling the lawn with lopsided balls.
Ten-pin bowling: Not enough prize money.
Football Supporter: Grown men and women freezing to death in an open stand, eating pies and singing crude songs. watching overpaid group of men playing with a ball, hugging and kissing after scoring. Do not mention it’s only a game to a football supporter.