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No oil.
A BSA.C11 owner came in to collect his machine after we had overhauled the engine.
He said to Bill, to what do you think contributed to the premature failure of my big end bearing? Bill quickly replied, lack of oil.

Testing time.
I used to test ride machines for Bill, one day I had to test a Panther 250cc two-stroke twin, but did not notice the front mudguard had not been securely fitted.
Riding past the local public house the mudgaurd became adrift and caused the front wheel to lock, which in turn threw me over the handlebars, causing great amusement amongst the regulars drinking outside the pub.

Missing kegs.
Helping Bill in the workshop one day, a neighbour came in without trousers, he said his wife did not want him to go out so she had hidden his trousers, he said Bill, can you lend me a pair I want to go into the Village?

Motoring moggie.
Bill asked me to take his car for MOT. I drove out of the open garage, unaware a cat had been asleep on the roof, until I speeded up to forty I heard a bump, and something fled off the car.
I mentioned this to Bill later and he said the neighbours cat sometimes sleeps on the roof perhaps you were driving too fast for him.

Mose’s mistake.
We used to repair an old chap’s bike, he had a long beard and we nicknamed him “Moses.” His machine was an old BSA B31.
One cold day he came into the workshop and without thinking put his gloves and haversack on top of the stove that was heating the workshop. His kit had begun to smell before he noticed.

Shotgun welcome.
We were called out to “Moses” isolated house down a dark lane just outside Clifton. His bike had a problem and he couldn’t start it.
His old house was in a derelict state and was in complete darkness when we arrived.
We knocked on the front door, “Moses” shouted who is it? And came to the door holding his shotgun, I thought it was burglars he said.

Tony’s donkey.
Tony a local chap had a small business mowing lawns and gardening, he also kept a donkey as a pet.
He transported his mowers and tools in an old Austin A35 van.
Tony called at Bills one day, and we were astonished to see his donkey lying in the back of the van with its head sticking through the passenger window. Tony said he loves coming with me and willingly gets into the van.

Drunk and poor.
Tom Jones inquired about his Norton, that he had brought in the day before, with a noise in the engine. Have you found the trouble Bill, asked Tom? Piston broke was the reply, so am I said Tom.

Dave’s dilema.
Bill’s neighbour Dave rode a badly maintained machine with a straight through silencer, it made a lot of noise, and you could hear Dave coming from half a mile away.
We were in the workshop and Bill said is that Dave’s bike I can hear? Moment’s later Dave shot past the workshop at a fair old speed, shouting, “throttles stuck” and came to rest in Bill’s cottage doorway.

Lettice have them.
Dave had a small market garden business near the Common, he was well known as being very economically minded. He was always bartering vegetables with Bill for parts for his machine.
The local lads were at Bill’s and Dave said to them “call at my place one the way home and have some lettuces”, this they did, but were dismayed when Dave asked them for sixpence each for the produce.

Peter’s prank.
Wilf, Pete’s mate had a Veloccete Viper a sporty 350cc machine. One evening Wilf had too much to drink and Pete volunteered to ride the Velo to Wilfs home.
Next day Wilf asked Bill to collect his machine as it had acquired a noise, we soon discovered it had been over-revved, damaging valves and piston, and required about four hundred pounds to put right.